Player Report Cards - Alaba to Boateng
Here I look at and grade the individual seasons of all Bayern players. Please note that all grades are 1. subjective (that means just my opinion) and 2. relative (that means Weihrauch gets a better grade for 5 goals than Gomez). Going through the squad alphabetically, we begin with the first three: David Alaba, Holger Badstuber and Jerome Boateng.
Post-Winter Break FAQ
With the first competitive match of the year at home against Fürth being just hours away, I’m trying to answer what I think are the most frequent questions on the minds of Bayern fans.
A Half In Stats
The FC Bayern Kids Club calculated this stuff for me. Thanks a lot, boys and girls, you are free again. Go outside for a bit, those three weeks must’ve been tough.
How did Bayern score against Gladbach and Augsburg?
Christmas special double pounder! Without cheese, we can’t afford that at Rekordmeister.
How did Bayern score against BATE?
No BATE puns, no BATE puns…
How did Bayern score against Dortmund?
Tumblr decided to destroy my first attempt so here’s a second one, this time bullet points only.
November Survey Results
1. Should the board sack Mehmet Scholl? - ¿Debería, la junta directiva, despedir a Mehmet Scholl?
- Yes-Si - 22.4%
- No - 77.6%
2. If you could choose one of these players for the German NT, who would it be? - Si pudieran escoger uno de estos jugadores para la selección Alemana, ¿quién sería?
- Franck Ribéry - 36.0%
- David Alaba - 45.0%
- Dante - 4.0%
- Arjen Robben - 5.0%
- Mario Mandzukic - 4.0%
- Luiz Gustavo - 1.0%
- None – Ninguno - 5.0%
3. With Boateng injured, what pair of CB would you prefer? - Con Boateng lesionado, ¿que pareja de centrales prefieren ver?
- Badstuber – Dante - 58.3%
- van Buyten – Badstuber - 8.3%
- van Buyten – Dante - 14.6%
- Luiz Gustavo – Dante - 0.0%
- Javi Martinez – Dante - 4.2%
- Tymoshchuk – Dante - 0.0%
- Javi Martinez – Badstuber 12.5%
- Tymoshchuk – Badstuber - 0.0%
- Luiz Gustavo – Badstuber - 2.1%
4. Who should be Bayern’s penalty kicker? - ¿Quién debería ser el cobrador de penales del Bayern?
- David Alaba - 18.2%
- Thomas Müller - 15.2%
- Arjen Robben - 2.0%
- Franck Ribéry - 9.1%
- Bastian Schweinsteiger - 13.1%
- Manuel Neuer - 7.1%
- Other – Otro - 3.0%
- They should rotate the penalty kicker - Deberían rotar el cobrador de penales - 32.3%
5. Who is a better coach overall, Jupp Heynckes or Louis van Gaal? - ¿Quién es mejor técnico en general, Louis van Gaal o Jupp Heynckes?
- Jupp Heynckes - 73.5%
- Louis van Gaal - 14.3%
- Equal – Igual - 12.2%
FCB Danterized - Boateng, Jerome
How did Bayern score against Hamburg?
The city of Hamburg hasn’t been dominated by a Frenchman like that since Napoleon took over about 200 years ago.
How did Bayern score against Leverkusen?
I could’ve used ‘lose’ instead of ‘score’ but fuck if I have an answer to that, if there ever was a wasn’t-meant-to-be match, this was it. Everything that could go wrong went wrong, practically. That being said, let’s find some scapegoats.